One is the Loneliest Number

Kadi died today, I cannot say that I am surprised, several things have happened this week leading me to believe this was going to happen.
1. Her tumor started to bleed a little.
2. When I took Shocker to get his teeth cleaned a couple brought in their dog to be put down and I got an awful feeling in my stomach
3. My mom mentioned how she wanted to put Kadi to sleep (nothing new)
4. I had a dream that my mom did put Kadi to sleep.
5. When my mom called me to say she was coming over today she had a tone in her voice and I already knew what it was about before she came over to officially tell me.
Kadi's tumor ruptured fully and she was in pain. Though I am sad about the situation my dad was hysterical. He put a muzzle on her and took her to the doctor where they stated the best thing to do was to put her down because it was cancer and because it ruptured it was a very aggressive cancer. They sedated her and then put her down. Now she is with Snickers, which makes me happy. My dad was worried that I would hate him, but in this situation I cannot get as upset as I was for Snickers. I called him tonight and reassured him I was o.k., a little sad but substantially o.k.
The weird thing is that our dogs seem to die in 2's. Meaning 2 die within a year of each other, so I hope that Shocker stays o.k. I kinda feel bad for him because mom says he looks scared, so far 2 dogs have gone to the vet and haven't come back and he looks worried like he is next.
I am happy Kadi is out of pain, but she will be greatly missed, I mean she was a part of my life for 14 yrs. Obviously I am going to feel a loss, but at the same time I understand. I feel worse at the fact that I was more upset over Snickers death than hers, I know on the inside though it was going to happen soon I just wish I could of been there with her.